Come Home

For a long time I wandered in a dark wilderness. I had no place where I belonged, no place to rest, to find peace; I had no home. I was always anxious, always striving to earn my way, to be independent, to gain approval and acceptance. I had to work very hard to get people to love me. I was alone, afraid, and vulnerable to the storms and the whims of the world, open to the elements, always changing, unpredictable. Searching through the mist of something nameless and elusive, I had gone places I never should’ve gone. I had gone too far. Who could ever love someone so hopeless, broken and unclean? I gave up my right to a home. My aimless wandering had taken me in the wrong direction. I was lost in the shadows and mazes of my own making. How could I ever find my way back?
One day, amidst my striving and searching, hunched bitterly under the diamond-hard shell I had constructed for protection, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned impatiently to see who would dare interrupt my busyness. The person before me seemed vaguely familiar but I could not quite remember where I had seen Him before. I growled, “Is there something that you need?” He simply replied, “I need you to come home.” From within my multi-layered shell of self-protection, I snarled, “I have no home!” As I hoisted my shell more securely over my shoulders and returned to my toil, He reached out His had to reveal a golden key. I didn’t know what He was trying to tell me, so I crossed my arms tightly over my heart and stood doubtfully and silently. But somewhere deep inside, despite my hard exterior, my heart began to toy with hope. This is what He said to me: “I have been watching you throughout your life. I have watched you struggle to walk, fall down, and get up without anyone’s help. I have seen the fear and loneliness in your eyes. I have seen the longing in your heart for safety, acceptance and belonging. I know that you have tried everything within your power to find this place of comfort and hope. I’ve come to tell you that I have the key to your every longing and desire. I have lived on this Earth; I have struggled and scraped to get through each day. I know what it is to have no place to lay your head. I have been looked down upon, laughed at, betrayed and beaten. I even allowed myself to be killed by those who should’ve known better. Then, by the power of your Heavenly Father and because of His great love for you, He brought me back to life so that I could stand before you now and offer you this key.”
Suddenly, I knew it was Jesus standing before me, but not the Jesus whom I had been visualizing my whole life, not the ancient, untouchable relic. This Jesus was alive, real, standing right in front of me. As my shell slipped unconsciously a few inches off my shoulders, allowing some of the hardness to leak out, I tried to resist the urge to reach out my hand and touch Him. He smiled with compassion and understanding. My shell slipped a few more inches, making me dangerously vulnerable.
Then in a flush of hot shame, I remembered what I had done and where I had been. He said He had been watching me my whole life, so He knew what I had done. I withdrew my hand, let out my breath, and lowered my eyes, gathering the strength to retrieve my sinking shell and return to my hiding place. In a small, trembling voice, full of fear and dying hope, I said “Jesus, I have gone too far. I have done things that you couldn’t possibly forgive. You should give the key to someone who deserves it.”
Jesus replied, “This key is for you…look…” and He turned the key over in his scarred hand. On the other side I saw that it had my name engraved on it. He said, “This key was given to me by your Father in Heaven before the creation of the universe. I have been watching and waiting for a time such as this to offer it to you. I know that you are weary, disillusioned, betrayed by the world. I offer you this key to bring you to a place of rest. There is a place where you can be safe, where someone is longing to be with you. It is a place of warmth, peace, protection; a place where you can set struggles, toil and striving aside. I have the key. Won’t you please come home?”
His kindness, gentleness and compassion melted the remnants of my hard heart. I knew then that this home is what I had been searching for all of my life. I lifted my eyes and my armor came off. Hope ignited and began to burn as I reached out my hand and took the key. Then He held out His arms and drew me close. I surrendered to His embrace and cried out all of the years of shame, regret, hopelessness, sorrow and exhaustion. When my tears subsided I was cleansed, transformed and renewed. We walked arm and arm down the street until we stood before a cozy, sturdy looking cottage. Warm light flooded out through the windows and as we stood upon the welcome mat, I could hear sounds of joy and celebration coming from inside. I lingered for a few more minutes in the safety of His warm embrace.
Finally Jesus said, “Go on inside. Your Father is waiting. There’s a party being thrown in your honor. When you’re ready again to venture out into the world, I will always be by your side. Go in peace.” He tenderly kissed my forehead and gave me a gentle push. I turned the key in the lock and heard a sure and solid click. I opened the door and boldly announced with the joyful heart of a long-lost child, “I’M HOME!”